The Distaste

Hi Vice,

I hate the color brown. I fucking hate wet socks. I hate people when they sneeze sitting next to me on airplanes. I hate the amount of time that I piss away doing nothing. I hate almost every movie that I have ever made. I hate that in America the right to vote is taken for granted. And I hate that having an opinion that might differ from the fucksticks on Capitol Hill is considered unpatriotic. It's the new McCarthyism (which I would have hated had I lived in that time). I hate people who use the words "organic" and "indeed" in a sentence. I hate shaved poontang (don't get me wrong, I will tolerate it, but I just hate it). I hate pleated pants. I hate puking when I'm drunk. I hate when I'm hungover and my tongue feels furry. I hate clever bumper stickers on cars. I hate crowds. I hate intolerant people, and I hate people with too much tolerance. One is full of ignorance, the other is full of shit. Oh hell, I almost forgot, I really hate pantyhose. And with the exception of Vladimir Nabokov and Iceberg Slim, I hate authors who use hundred-dollar words to complete their two-dollar thoughts. I hate the Santa Ana winds. I fucking despise West L.A. I hate people who think their religion is the only real truth. I hate anyone who picks a fight with someone they know they can whip. I hate when people think by fucking someone smart and talented that they themselves miraculously become smart and talented as well. And I hate people who think they are so goddamn smart.

Best,
Johnny

Not bad for the creator of jackass.