Yes, that's right no 'The' preceding the title, I thought it was time to give that up. We'll see how long that lasts.
More talk. I apologize.
I have been spending much time with my brother lately and I think he has had a great impact on me. He always has, good or bad. About a month ago he had an episode of something that happens to people sometimes and it is nothing serious but results in one passing out. This caused him to freak out about things because he had this impending feeling that he could pass out at any given time. Having never passed out before myself, I understand freaking out after passing out. Anyway, that is just a lead in. So his freaking out, say every other day for a week, really didn't bother me at first because I would just rationalize with him. The past few days, I have been freaking out in a similar way, just that there was no instigating moment. I have no idea what it is. Part of it is this perpetual feeling of nervousness, I hope that goes away after the exam. The rest of it is just hopes that contstly get rubbed into the ground in an instant. The regularity of these hopes coming up and down is just becoming annoying because I keep falling into the hole and not learning from my mistake, which is rather unlike me, I think. There are a few people that I want to say things to, but really don't have the guts to (don't worry it's no one who reads this). Maybe I should tell them vicariously through the blog and then I won't have to actually talk to them. Though it might be more effective if I just tell the one party directly that they're being terribly inconsiderate and rude; and tell another party that they should hang out with me because I'm more interesting than I appear and those other people are more superficial in nature, though they will be around and I will not. I would never say anything though because I'm a coward and I really doubt any of that would accomplish anything other than to make me feel better, but it probably won't because people don't enjoy being confronted and will probably lead to my never seeing them again on grounds of awkwardness and not distance.
Now I understand how things get so complicated so quickly, it's because everything is in my head. I am way too vague, I should stop doing that.
Tell intensely emotional stories in a numbered sequence of events.
More talk. I apologize.
I have been spending much time with my brother lately and I think he has had a great impact on me. He always has, good or bad. About a month ago he had an episode of something that happens to people sometimes and it is nothing serious but results in one passing out. This caused him to freak out about things because he had this impending feeling that he could pass out at any given time. Having never passed out before myself, I understand freaking out after passing out. Anyway, that is just a lead in. So his freaking out, say every other day for a week, really didn't bother me at first because I would just rationalize with him. The past few days, I have been freaking out in a similar way, just that there was no instigating moment. I have no idea what it is. Part of it is this perpetual feeling of nervousness, I hope that goes away after the exam. The rest of it is just hopes that contstly get rubbed into the ground in an instant. The regularity of these hopes coming up and down is just becoming annoying because I keep falling into the hole and not learning from my mistake, which is rather unlike me, I think. There are a few people that I want to say things to, but really don't have the guts to (don't worry it's no one who reads this). Maybe I should tell them vicariously through the blog and then I won't have to actually talk to them. Though it might be more effective if I just tell the one party directly that they're being terribly inconsiderate and rude; and tell another party that they should hang out with me because I'm more interesting than I appear and those other people are more superficial in nature, though they will be around and I will not. I would never say anything though because I'm a coward and I really doubt any of that would accomplish anything other than to make me feel better, but it probably won't because people don't enjoy being confronted and will probably lead to my never seeing them again on grounds of awkwardness and not distance.
Now I understand how things get so complicated so quickly, it's because everything is in my head. I am way too vague, I should stop doing that.
Tell intensely emotional stories in a numbered sequence of events.
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